Outside the clichéd image of car keys in a bowl, adult events are becoming a popular staple on many enlightened Londoners’ “to-do” lists. And what once seemed seedy could now unleash untapped desires, as our man on the inside discovered…

Why would someone want to attend a sex party, I hear you ask? Fear of the unknown and outdated preconceptions have personified their image, and made it a big, bad, scary world to step into, but it has often piqued my interest. I’ve always been fairly sexually liberate (although I’ve never spoken openly about it) so when the opportunity presented itself I stepped up, prepared to take one for the team – ahem!

FOREPLAY

The seed was planted following a conversation on a date about New Year’s resolutions, and how attending a sex party would tick a bucket list “to do” box. After a little research on the range of parties on offer, it was clear: if you want it, it exists. From S&M, ladies only, gay and bisexual, there are events for all tastes. Le Boudoir kept popping up, with amazing reviews that referenced a “friendly bunch” and boasted it was good for first-timers. After browsing the website and studying their online gallery, I decided this was the place. Le Boudoir holds weekly parties on Thursday, Friday and Saturday – I chose to check out the Saturday, strictly for couples and single ladies. I floated the idea to my female friend, who was, surprisingly, up for it. That was the easy part…

THE NIGHT

Aiming to retain an element of normality to our pre-orgy Saturday night, we get dinner. A nice Pizza Pilgrims and a beer don’t really settle my nerves, but at least it involved carb- loading. There is a slight spanner in the works as my date has forgotten her passport (used as proof of age and address), so we have to swing by her house before party time. She has told all her housemates about her plans, so you can imagine the look of excitement, followed by disappointment, on their faces as we walk in, only to reveal we haven’t been yet.

The Uber ride to the East London venue is quiet and tense: we speak a bit about how we both feel (terrified, obviously) and comfort each other with “We’re in this together”. We decide if one of us isn’t into it, we would both leave as a sign of solidarity. We have quite literally made a sex pact.

As we get closer to the venue, a million and one thoughts are racing through my head: “What if I can’t perform? What if I recognise someone? What if I don’t like it? What if I love it and get hooked? What if she doesn’t like it? What if she leaves me for someone else? What if I can’t perform?”

Le Boudoir is a ‘bring your own bottle’ (BYOB) event, so after buying some wine we descend into silence. A nondescript wooden door with a video buzzer marks the point of no return. Once inside, I am pleasantly surprised by the non-threatening reception area and the couple registering for the evening.

We walk in, pour our drinks and are introduced to our new surroundings by one of the lovely hosts. My first impressions are it feels surprisingly familiar. Good music blaring, lots of  people chatting and laughing. We go for a little walk about to explore. Downstairs we first see the headmaster’s office, complete with its own whip, then arrive at a dimly lit corridor which begins to heighten some of my other senses. It is pretty quiet; no one is around. We come across the dungeon. A half-naked woman is bent over, being spanked by a well-dressed man. It’s a gentle, if disciplined, reminder of where we are.

GO TIME

Fast forward an hour, and we have settled into the party. Slightly. We have met some lovely people, from staff members to partygoers, all with nothing but amazing things to say and big smiles on their faces. We’ve now seen people walking freely in lingerie, a few “performances” by beautiful couples/threesomes/groups and brave women showing off pole fitness skills.

The sexual tension between me and my partner is at an all-time high, so I take a swig of Blossom Hill and we ascend the stairs towards “The Lounge”. It’s not quite what you’d expect. Not many people are lounging. The low lighting and R&B music set the tone, but nothing could really prepare us for what was to come.

A big FrankenBed on the left hosts four or five couples in the swing of things. A few are dotted around the floor and the seating area, some participating, some just watching. On the right, there are three beds with sheer curtains providing not much privacy; more an illusion of it. This area is busy with couples enjoying the party. The only way I can explain the feeling in that room is intoxicating. The sexual energy is intense as it seeps into your body; it’s fully immersive, helping you feel more and more confident you are not the exception here. Couples engage in some seriously hot sex, some chill out by the sidelines and some meld into a mess of sweaty bodies. Surprisingly, it doesn’t feel strange; lots of cheeky smiles and funny quips are exchanged and we (surprisingly) stay in there for about an hour, for “research”, obviously.

During a break in the smoking area, we meet another couple who complimented us on our performance upstairs – a first for me. We discover they are Dutch which spoke to the fact that a lot of guests who attend Le Boudoir come from far and wide. It must be a really interesting way to experience a new destination and really get to know the locals.

After rehydrating, we explore the dungeon which is now quite busy. Master Boudoir, who we met earlier and gave us an introduction to the club, is busy doing what he does best. A woman is restrained on a St Andrew’s Cross (a common piece of BDSM equipment) and he is on his knees using his bag of tricks to give her “Le Boudoir Experience”. Before he clocked on tonight, we spoke about how some women, powerful women, value this experience as a space they can let go of control and still feel safe. He told us how it is becoming the norm for young women, who may have ideas of this type of pleasure, to take charge and attend these events.

We take in the sights around the dungeon. A sling is put to good use in the corner and couples entangle in the cell room. Moans and groans are bouncing around the walls and time is flying. It’s nearly closing time, and people are filling their boots.

THE COMEDOWN

The bouncer is supremely polite in his way of asking people to “wrap it up” which prompts a chuckle. As we collect our coats, we are all smiles. We say our thanks and goodbyes and sit outside, enjoying a few silent moments of reflection. We feel as if we had to come down from all of that sexual energy and settle back into real life.

I can see why this is a part of peoples lives. If it’s something you’ve thought of exploring, go for it. Le Boudoir provided a great location for first-timers and variety for seasoned partygoers. In taking part, I have started conversations with friends and co-workers about sex parties, a great step towards normalising the subject and opening up the dialogue.

And with my partner suggesting we go again for her birthday (along with her friend), I think we’re all moving in the right direction.

For more information about the upcoming events at Le Boudoir, visit leboudoir.club