Quiz: What kind of sharer are you?
1. What’s your role in a group?
A) The quiet one
B) The curious/analytical one
C) The wise one
D) The loud one
E) The gossip
2. You promise to keep a secret. You…
A) Take it to your grave
B) Tell your therapist
C) Might tell your closest friend or partner
D) Tell a couple of people
E) Blab, immediately
3. Do you always give your opinion?
C) Only when asked
D) Most of the time
E) Of course!
4. When you meet a new person you…
A) Are guarded
B) Ask lots of questions
C) Chat freely and share a bit about yourself
D) Talk mainly about your current situation
E) Tell them your life story
5. How often do you put your foot in it?
B) Very rarely
C) Every now and again
D) Too often
E) At every opportunity
6. How often do you post on social media?
A) Once a month, if that
B) Once a week
C) Every couple of days
D) Every day
E) Every couple of hours
7. Your colleagues think you’re…
A) Closed off and quiet
B) Private but friendly
C) Sociable and approachable
D) Talkative and open
E) Loud and disruptive
8. How often do you complain?
A) Not at all
B) Hardly ever
C) Every now and again
D) Quite often
E) All the time!
9. Do you worry about how much you’ve shared?
B) Only occasionally
D) Yes, quite a bit
E) Every day
THE RESULTS – Where do you fit on the ‘sharer’ scale?
As a psychotherapist and executive coach, Robert is also a co-founder and director of The Grove Practice At Work in London.
MOSTLY A: ENIGMA
Not at all classed as a sharer, you prefer to observe rather than participate. Even when asked, you are reluctant to share information about yourself. There’s nothing wrong with being private; however, it can make others feel untrusted, when the reality is probably that you don’t fully trust yourself.
Robert Rees says: “You probably say something important when you do come round to sharing; sometimes less is more. However, you might like to keep a check on how you stay as silent as you do and review it – ensure it’s really serving you in life. If you’re open to it, try sharing with someone you trust deeply.”
MOSTLY B: QUIZZER
You’re inquisitive and generous in your conversations and always ask questions. This is no bad thing, but offering up some information about yourself will help you build trust and makes for stronger relationships, both professional and personal.
Robert says: “You will probably find sharing your feelings with others helps you to feel connected and supported by those you care about. Your curiosity is to be commended, but be aware if your questions to new people are serving as something to hide behind. Sometimes words are a great way of protecting ourselves and putting walls up.”
MOSTLY C: HAPPY CHATTER
A comfortable sharer, you’ve got a good grasp of what you’re comfortable with discussing, and what you’d rather leave private. Make sure that you continue to keep this balance, with an eye on how authentic you’re truly being. Try not to curate your conversations, let them flow naturally.
Robert says: “Your openness and balanced approach to sharing will be appreciated by friends and relatives. Be sure to keep an eye on what relationships are mutually rewarding. Your level-headed approach and wisdom can elevate your status with peers and can be an open door to others to recruit you for their own purposes.”
MOSTLY D: OPEN BOOK
Socially, you bounce from ‘calm and controlled’ to ‘spilling your guts to people you’ve just met’. It can be hard to know what to share, and with whom. So instead ask yourself how long you’ve known the person, if you trust them and if they’re also being open with you.
Robert says: “You might want to take a look at how you are in relationships, specifically your tendency to offer your opinions freely. Be gentle with yourself and take stock of your approach to sharing. See if you might like to try holding on to your opinions more often and pose a question instead.”
MOSTLY E: EPIC OVERSHARER
It’s positive that you’re open and confident in speaking to others. However, you often overshare. As a sharer, try setting some boundaries for yourself. Ask yourself what level of sharing is appropriate in different situations. At work? Rein it in a little. With close friends? Go for it.
Robert says: “Showing this level of vulnerability takes courage but often what you’re looking for isn’t reciprocated. Sometimes when we repeat patterns of oversharing we struggle to make sense of the emotional temperature of others. If this is something you struggle with, try asking for genuine feedback from those you trust who have your best interests at heart.”