10 tips for safe sexual exploration at home
Have you ever been curious about BDSM but been unsure how to go about introducing its principles of it into your sex life? You’re not alone – according to one recent YouGov poll 1 in 4 adults have admitted they’d like to dabble in kink, with 19% of adults under 40 saying they’ve already given it a go.
BDSM can include many different forms of sexual stimulation but is easily broken down into bondage, discipline, sadism and/or masochism. Having gained huge mainstream media attention thanks to the likes of films like Fifty Shades of Grey, and more recently the Netflix series Obsession, there’s certainly a growing curiosity for all things involving dominance, submission, and control in the bedroom.
If you’re looking to spice up your sex life at home and want some expert advice on how to introduce BDSM safely, Queen Tricks – creator of and performer on the fetish platform Domin8trix – has offered up ten of the best tips to ensure your journey to sexual exploration is safe as well as sexy.
1. Set clear boundaries
Establishing and communicating clear boundaries with your subs is essential for safe, real-time sessions. Discuss what is and isn’t acceptable and establish a safe word to signal when a limit has been reached.
2. Prioritise consent
Consent is key. Make sure all parties involved enthusiastically agree to participate in any activities and continuously check in for ongoing consent throughout the experience. A consent form between a dominatrix and a sub should always be completed before a real-time session. Medical conditions should always be established before a session commences, too.
3. Educate yourself
Stay informed about different practices, safety measures, and risk factors. Take the initiative to educate yourself on the proper use of equipment, props and toys, and follow guidelines for hygiene and sanitation.
4. Start slow
Take things at a pace that is comfortable for everyone involved, especially if you’re trying new activities. Start with familiar activities and gradually progress to more intense experiences as desired. There’s no need to rush and the gradual build-in intensity will be much more pleasurable for everyone involved. You might be very eager, but I promise it’s worth the wait.
5. Use safe words
Briefly established in my first point, safe words are crucial for communication during BDSM activities. Agree on a safe word or signal that can be used to pause or stop the scene if anyone feels uncomfortable or overwhelmed. A safe word is never to be used playfully or ignored; it always means stop.
6. Practice safe bondage
If engaging in bondage play, ensure that restraints are not too tight and can be easily released in case of an emergency. Avoid restricting blood flow or breathing and have safety scissors nearby to cut through ropes or restraints if needed.
7. Clean and sanitise toys
If using toys or props, make sure they are clean and sanitised before and after each use. Follow proper care instructions to avoid any risk of infection or injury.
8. Encourage open communication
Maintain open communication with your submissive partner before, during and after the experience. Encourage feedback and create a non-judgmental environment for discussing boundaries, limits, and desires.
9. Have a first aid kit on hand
Accidents can happen, so it’s important to have a well-stocked first aid kit readily available. Include items like bandages, antiseptics, and any other necessary medical supplies.
10. Take care of aftercare
Aftercare is crucial for emotional and physical well-being. Plan for aftercare activities like cuddling, reassurance, or self-care routines to help everyone involved feel safe, secure, and supported. Remember, safety and consent are paramount in any real-time sessions at home, and communication is key. Always prioritise the physical and emotional well-being of all parties involved.