Take control: How to not let Fear rule your life
Fear and I go way back.
It used to be the thing that made my decisions, and kept me small and stuck. It was my Master.
The funny thing about fear is that its roots run deep and usually it’s embedded in everything we do – from the job we settle for, to the unhealthy habits that dominate our daily lives.
Around 4 years ago, I was desperate to leave my corporate job and set up my own business, but I felt that was simply too much of a risk. What about the career I had worked so hard for? What about paying my bills? What if it all went wrong?
The more my soul, or wisdom if you like, whispered for freedom, flexibility, creativity and to make a difference in the world… the louder the voice of fear became. Change was just too big a risk. It made much more sense to stay in my comfort zone.
Then one day something clicked.
Fear may have won the volume contest, but what it said lacked any real substance.
All its arguments were based on future imaginary scenarios that could far from be proven to be true. They were attached to beliefs I had about myself, that quite frankly when deconstructed, had little fact in them. All those stories about what I was and was not capable of were written by fear. What if Fear had been lying to me all along?
TRY: WRITING IT DOWN
It was then that I stumbled upon an exercise which has since had a profound impact on both me and my clients. I asked Fear to write me a letter. It got to have its say. It listed every excuse it could find as to why I shouldn’t go after what I truly desired. Until it ran out of steam.
Later, when I felt grounded again, I got Love to write back. Love got to write all the ways in which things could go right. It got to talk to me about what I truly desired, what I was capable of and what I deserved. It felt expansive, freeing, exciting. Every part of my body got behind that letter and I could feel the energy shift as I started giving Love its voice.
The catch? I only got to keep one letter.
That moment became the game-changer for me and ever since I have made all of my decisions based on the Love letter. Every time.
FIGHT THE FEAR
It doesn’t mean I don’t employ my neutral mind to discern the positive and negative in situations but what it does mean is that Fear doesn’t get to make the decisions. I do.
So if you find yourself consumed by fear at the moment, I encourage you to give the same airtime to love. Yes, let fear have it’s say but ask yourself honestly – does love get the same courtesy? Ask yourself how your life, decisions, beliefs, language or next steps might look different if you didn’t subscribe to your fear-based stories.
The biggest thing that fear has in its arsenal is the unknown. It fixates on the fact that none of us can guarantee that things are going to work out in the way we want.
Still, today I want to make a strong case for Love. Love knows so much more. It’s so much wiser. It knows what ignites us and it knows how to make the deepest desires we have come into reality. It knows how to access those parts of us that are so driven, determined, lit up that we can make anything happen. It lifts us up. It’s not focused on pointing out our shortcomings but on building us up. It’s our biggest cheerleader.
With a 14 year-career in a global consultancy, Caroline Britton is an experienced business and mindset coach who adopts an approach that balances metaphysical philosophies with practical solutions. For more information on Caroline head to her website, or follow her on Instagram.