Remember back in March when the idea of penciling in a wanking session between your Zoom calls felt exciting and risqué? Well, nearly five months later, our relationship with handjobs is well and truly out of the honeymoon phase, and singletons everywhere are close to caving in for the coitus.

In fact, according to a recent UK survey by dating app Badoo, although a huge 75% of singles said they haven’t had sex at all during lockdown, it’s clear that our willpower is being well and truly tested – with 1 in 3 saying they would be tempted to have sex with someone from outside their household, despite the ongoing social distancing regulations. 

But unless you’ve got some truly in-demand plasma, or reckon you could have a stab at coming up with this much-awaited vaccine, then sticking with self-stimulation is the most heroic thing you can do to help reduce the spread of Covid-19. Wanking for the win!

And if you’re still not convinced that flicking your bean before lunch is a truly selfless act, then take a look at this collection of cheeky war time-esque posters encouraging the nation to “keep the home fires burning” until it’s safe to get intimate with who we please. A collaboration between Badoo, and illustrator and visual artist, Alice Skinner, they’re sure to motivate you to use this time to Stay at Home, Finesse your Fingering, and Save Lives.

5 WAYS TO MASTER YOUR MASTURBATION

1. GIVE YOURSELF THE GIFT OF OMGYES

A browse through OMGyes is like flicking through the ultimate instruction manual to female self-pleasure that you never knew existed. Aiming to assist both individuals and couples in enhancing clitoral pleasure, with just a one-off £39 payment, you’ll gain access to over sixty short and super honest videos, twelve touchable simulations, and dozens of infographics.

And if you want to step things up a notch, then The Inner Pleasure Collection is well worth considering; boasting over 180 short videos, it is truly a pandora’s box of penetration and inner stimulation techniques.

2. TRY SOME SELF-REFLECTION

A chance to really focus on getting in touch with your body like never before, perhaps bringing mirror play into the mix could be your ticket to titillation? 

Alix Fox, an award-winning writer and broadcaster who specialises in ‘decently indecent’ sex ed, says: “Masturbating in front of a mirror can be great for building positive self-image, as if you look at your bod when it’s making you feel good, you’re more likely to feel good about what you see. Use lockdown to become a better buddy to your body.”

3. READ AS YOU RUB

For the imaginative types who love nothing more than a filthy text or a bit of fantasising, then delving into the world of kinky literature could be just what’s missing from your masturbation.

A free website filled with femme-friendly erotic fiction submitted by a variety of authors, Literotica is a great place to start. Browse through the stories by category, or just head to the New In page to take a dive into the latest dirty content. 

4. SWITCH YOUR D.I.Y. FROM P.M. TO A.M. 

If you want to fall back in love with getting yourself off, then consider starting your day with a wanking session. Believed to reduce stress levels, boost focus, and even naturally boost your beauty, many find that an orgasm first thing is a worthwhile addition to the morning routine. There’s no way you wont be riding that post-orgasm high afterwards!

Alix Fox, adds: “Lots of people save their do-it-yourself delight time for night-time, but there’s something about treating yourself to a personal passion session when you wake that really sets you up for a great day!”

5. UP YOUR EDGING

With the commute still a distant memory to many of us, odds are you’ve got the time to invest in some teasing. Edging involves wanking yourself almost all the way to orgasm, before forcing yourself to cool down, and is a great way to intensify your orgasm.

You could spend an hour doing it, or if you want to, you could start when you wake up, and continually bring yourself close, before finally letting yourself finish at the end of the working day. Just be sure to come up with a cover story as to why your emails are particularly snappy …