MEET MATTHEW, 30

An Australian PHD student in London, at the tail end of his studies in social advocacy. Playful but a bit of a thinker, he is looking for someone who connects with both his serious and silly sides. As passionate about activism as he is about the pursuit of fun, finding a date with arguably contradictory characteristics is tricky. So far, he has tried to settle and pick a side – and it hasn’t worked.

THE CONSULTATION

Wednesday, 6pm, Notes Coffee Roasters & Wine Bar

Matthew’s move to London was a conscious decision to make a clean break from Australia and lay down long-term roots.

‘Nice’ is the word he uses most to describe his ex. There’s no acrimony there, but equally there was no excitement.

Matthew took on the position of carer rather than lover, supporting his ex (who was five years his senior) through a change in career direction. Emotional intelligence bonded them but not passion.

So Matthew left in pursuit of more sizzle, but ended up with dates who were all high drama and zero level headedness.

These days, he flip-flops between bookish types who bore him, and wilder fellas who make a sensible dad figure out of him.

The challenge is to offer him someone who stands on both sides of the divide, combining excitement with drive.

THE MATCH

Kevin, 24, is a digital marketing executive from California. Recently sponsored by an agency to remain in London after his studies, he is transitioning from hedonist to careerist. Fresh out of academia, he has the cerebral boxes ticked but also the passion of a traveller. Unlike Matthew’s previous flames, he is confidently forging his career but refuses to compromise on just how much fun he can have doing this. It’s this mix of focus with frivolity that makes him a potentially exciting match for Matthew.

THE DATE

8pm-late, Jones Family Project, Shoreditch

‘I arrived on time (he didn’t) and spent the first few minutes perusing the cocktail menu before Kevin arrived, puffed from rushing to get there. We quickly discovered that red wine drinkers and beer drinkers must compromise, so ordered a bottle of rose.

‘The whole evening was spent chatting and nibbling away in the romantically lit restaurant basement. I found Kevin to be smart and savvy and I very much enjoyed our conversations about my favourite topic of discussion – television.

‘We talked a lot about accents and by the end of the night, his Australian drawl had somewhat improved. We hugged goodbye before I enjoyed a pleasant stroll home.’

THE VERDICT

Matthew says: ‘I’d be interested in getting to know him more, but he said he hated alone time. I’d find this difficult in a longer-term sense, as I love alone time! But I liked Kevin’s ambition and how family-minded he is, so we’ll see.’
7/10

Kevin says: ‘Matthew was charming, kind and well put together, but the chemistry was lacking. He seemed to be on a different wavelength and a touch too serious. Would I go out with him again? Yes. On another date? No.’
6/10

Read more: Dateover — What happened when Kimberley met Patrick

THE DATING EXPERT

Nana Wereko-Brobby runs dating events club Social Concierge, for people who prefer to date offline…

Nana says… Maybe Kevin was a little too vivacious for Matthew. It’s unclear whether the formality of the date prevented Matthew from loosening up. This was a great test and perhaps it’s confirmed that Matthew is better suited to a more serious match.

Do you want us to find you a date? If you’d relish the chance to take part in the next Dateover, simply sign up at balance.media

Read more: When Sam met Sam