The excellent Mitchell & Webb sketch Homeopathic Hospital is an affectionate swipe at any sort of medical practice deemed ‘alternative’. The double act would have a field day with crystal healing. However, as practitioner Kim Alexis explains to us, crystal healing isn’t claiming to be anything it’s not.

‘It’s a gentle treatment,’ Kim explains after a one-on-one session at her crystal-filled Belsize Park healing room. ‘It’s like a massage.’

What actually happens?

Kim has summed it up perfectly. Crystal healing is for when you feel jaded, lacking in mojo or in need of realignment. While Kim claims to have witnessed instances of miraculous recovery from aches, pains and even ovarian cysts, generally speaking, a healing session is more like a top-to-toe MOT. As an international-level over-thinker, I came away unquestionably calmer, with the following day markedly different in terms of peace of mind.

A session starts with a chat, as Kim ascertains how you’re feeling and why, in order to know which stones to use. You then lie on a table and close your eyes as Kim surrounds your body with general healing quartz crystals. Kim then places other, more specific gems and stones on your chakra points (1-7: root, belly, solar plexus, heart, throat, third eye, crown). Within moments, I’ve drifted out of consciousness. Thoughts and visions are vivid and striking yet, regrettably, specifics are hazy upon waking more than half an hour later.

That doesn’t sound that weird…

What’s striking about Kim is how grounded she is. She talks matter-of-factly about crystals in the way you and I might wax lyrical about the meat section at Aldi. As Kim explains, each crystal contains a different mineral, providing specific qualities for mind, body and soul.

As someone who talks professionally, Kim places kyanite on my throat ‘for speaking truth’ (my wife will be pleased), as well as larimar, which aids with ‘unresolved issues’.

‘Unresolved issues’? Well, during our initial chat, Kim said something in the most casual manner possible: ‘Your father left when you were a child.’ And added: ‘That’s why you feel abandoned.’ She clean-bowled me, middle stump cartwheeling towards the pavilion. Did I mention Kim is also a psychic? I didn’t?

Perhaps that too is for another time.

The deets

Give it a go
If you feel out of sorts and can’t quite pinpoint why.

High point
The day after – a real spring in the step

Low point
I shouldn’t have been so tongue-tied when asked how I was

How to book
07811 064604 / [email protected]