It’s estimated that more than 700,000 people worldwide take their own lives every year. Many more attempt suicide or are plagued by dark thoughts of desperation and hopelessness. 

Sometimes the signs are obvious – they might talk about dying, or feel like they’re in unbearable pain. Other signs are far more subtle. In fact, they might appear perfectly rational, even happy. It makes it very difficult for loved ones, colleagues and friends to step in and help. However early intervention is key to seeking support and saving lives.

Here are five hidden clues that might suggest someone is seriously considering harming themselves – or ending it all.

1. Sudden happiness

Faking joy can be one of the trickiest barriers to spotting genuine suicidal thoughts. Yvette Greenway-Mansfield, CEO of suicide prevention charity, SOS Silence of Suicide, explains why it’s so complex.

“When a low, or exceptionally low mood, is suddenly and unexpectedly replaced with happiness and apparent normality, this should not be ignored and must be explored in depth,” says Yvette. “Being aware of baseline behaviours – and changes around those – can be crucial identifiers that something might be wrong.

“Our experience shows that behavioural changes can be key indicators when a decision to end life has been made. The individual feels relieved and unburdened and are acting ‘normally’ again.”

2. Making plans

If you know or suspect that someone is depressed, seeing them make plans to meet up with friends or family might well put your mind at ease. You’ll perhaps assume that they’re reconnecting with people and are feeling more positive about their future. But perhaps the hugs they’re giving are lasting a little longer than they usually would? Maybe the heartfelt statement they’ve just made is overly sentimental compared to their usual way of speaking?

It could be that quietly, in their own hearts, they’re saying goodbye to their loved ones – even making amends – before taking their own life.

It’s also a reason why they might visit places that mean something to them – they could be drawing a line under their past. Tidying up their room or whole home could similarly be mistaken as a sign of optimism or a fresh start when potentially it’s their way of putting their personal business in order and preparing others for when they’re gone. 

3. Sudden calmness

Seeing someone raging with anger one minute and in tears the next can be confusing, upsetting and exhausting. You try to offer help and ask what’s wrong but your attempts are rebuffed. When that person’s tsunami of emotions suddenly quell, it’s like a moment of calm in the eye of the storm.

An obvious reaction might be to breath a sigh of relief and express gratitude that they’ve seemingly worked through their problems and fought off their demons. However, as with ‘faking joy’, this sudden calmness is a sign of something far more worrying.

“A sudden calmness in someone who usually shows distress may be a red flag,” says Yvette. “It can indicate that a decision has been made.”

Having made the decision to end their own life, they might feel no stress or anxiety about missing a deadline, facing up to an ex-partner or going for that job promotion. It no longer matters as they won’t be around to deal with these, often overwhelming, challenges.

“Reaching out to begin difficult conversations is vital at this stage,” Yvette adds.

4. Detachment

Not everyone is able to vocalise how they’re feeling. And not everyone acts out their emotions. Some people keep them bottled up, hidden deep inside. This can manifest as indifference, as if the person is untouched by external stresses. In reality they’re feeling numb. They’ve closed off a part of themselves because they’re slowly shutting down their connection to the world around them.

“When someone begins to detach from their loved ones, it can signal a deeper crisis,” explains Yvette. “Recognising this change is crucial in offering the help they may desperately need.”

5. Changes to sleep patterns

Depression and anxiety can be exhausting, which is why irregular sleep patterns can be another hidden sign of suicidal thoughts. Whether it involves difficulty sleeping (insomnia) or sleeping too much (hypersomnia) a change in quality, duration or time of sleep can be key. Have you noticed a friend or loved one sleeping throughout the day when they never used to? They could be using sleep as a way to pass the time, preferring it to other daily activities that they used to enjoy. Missing out on quality sleep due to insomnia might be causing their anxiety levels to rise, intensifying feelings of distress in a vicious cycle of anxiety and exhaustion.

Other hidden signs of suicide

There’s often no single cause or sign that someone is thinking of taking their own life. Other less common indicators include:

• A lack of focus

• Sudden use of dark humour directed at themselves

• Indifference about their performance at work or college slipping

• Giving up on personal hygiene and appearance

• Deleting all social media accounts

• Regularly missing planned group activities

What should I do next?

“There can be many other changes to baseline personality and behaviour  –what we might call normal behaviours and personality traits – in an individual. This can include a disinterest in things they used to enjoy to removing themselves from social activities,” says Yvette. “Any sustained or unexplained changes should be discussed with a GP in the first instance.”

If the individual is in immediate danger:
• Call 999 or NHS 111 or take them to your nearest A&E if they will go willingly.

Realising that a loved one, friend or colleague is having thoughts of suicide can evoke intense emotions such as fear, grief and powerlessness. You may feel lost as to how to respond or what to say. But you don’t have to go through this alone.

Speak with the compassionate team at SOS Silence of Suicide. They will listen without judgement.

Call the freephone helpline on 0808 115 1515, open Monday to Friday, 8pm-midnight, and Saturday to Sunday, 4pm-midnight, or visit sossilenceofsuicide.org for more advice and support.