There’s so much rage in the world and within ourselves. You only have to spend a few minutes watching the news or reading the papers to get a sense of how much anger is being sat on collectively.

Perhaps you’ve been at the receiving end of seething frustration while driving or you’ve witnessed angry outbursts while waiting for a delayed flight. Maybe you’ve lost your cool when attempting a tricky task or you’ve felt furious about a comment a friend has made.

According to Gallup’s Global Emotions report, emotions such as anger, remained at their highest level in 2023. Judging by the current state of the world, little has changed. But contrary to social norms, anger and rage are not the problem. In fact they are extremely healthy emotions and can even be very empowering and healing, says body mind maturation coach and human behaviour expert, Nicky Clinch.

“It’s absolutely acceptable and should be educated on a whole lot more in this modern life we’re living in,” says Nicky. “This full, wild, animalistic expression of human emotion has been suppressed, shamed and judged for generations before us. And most people haven’t been taught how to feel it or even recognise it’s there at all.

“This issue sadly goes back generations and therefore, collectively, we’ve inherited a certain level of conditioning and memories, associating anger with those who’ve been suppressing it. We’ve used it in toxic, unhealthy, unsafe ways – as something to resist, control or be ashamed of. We then learn that these ways are normal and we find ourselves continuing what we’ve learnt.”

What is rage?

“Rage is a completely natural childhood response to when your freedom, authenticity and autonomy has been robbed or violated,” explains Nicky. “In simple terms, you’ve been told, or you feel like, you’re not allowed to be and feel and voice and live as who you are.”

It’s a behaviour we often learn from early childhood, from parents who’ve suppressed their own anger and rage. It’s also something we learn from our environment – “from a society that has been created to suppress and shame freedom, wildness and autonomy,” adds Nicky. ​​

“Rage is the emotional expression of all the boundaries you never set and all your power that you either gave away to someone else or that was robbed from you.​​ So allowing yourself to express it now is not only part of your deepest healing but an essential part of the process in reclaiming your power.” 

Buried beneath the anger, there’s often a very wounded heart, and immense grief and sadness. “Every person I’ve ever held space for in rage release, including myself, always ends up in grief once the anger has been expressed,” says Nicky. “I’ve even seen this holding space for my own six-year-old daughter when her little brother was born and she felt angry that I’d abandoned her. Almost always, if you let yourself fully feel all your anger, with full permission and in a safe, held container, the anger will release and you’ll find yourself crying for all the hurt you’ve buried for far too long. It is always profoundly healing.”

What happens if we keep a lid on our rage?

“Keeping your rage hidden, suppressed and unexpressed is like sitting on top of a pressure cooker trying to keep it tame and controlled,” explains Nicky.  It creates tension in your muscles, bones, spine, liver, hips, jaw and even your genitals, she adds.

“This energy keeps your jaw rigid, your lips pursed tightly. It keeps your fire, your passion, your wild creative sexual life force and self-expression imprisoned and plugged in. It literally creates a hard wall around your heart, which then blocks you from feeling connection, joy and inspiration. You become like a caged tiger in your own body and internal experience without even knowing it. And you end up becoming very stuck in all areas of your life.

“It often also leads to strong cravings – for alcohol, drugs, sugar or meaningless sexual encounters – as the only way to create a release. But none of these ways will give you your power back.

“And the important thing to know is that if you resist and bury it, it will never go away. It 100% will find a way to be expressed, through resentment, judgement of yourself or others, ‘stuckness’ and being blocked in your life or violent explosions that come out of nowhere.”

How to release rage – safely

The idea of allowing yourself to feel and express your rage, and tap into the grief that lies beneath, might be frightening. But keep in mind the physical, mental, emotional and even spiritual benefits.

“Not only will you release an enormous storm of stuck energy, you’ll literally reclaim your power. Your heart will begin to open again and you’ll start to feel more deeply connected to others, to life, to yourself,” says Nicky.

Before following the steps below, you must respect certain boundaries first.

“This process is only for you. You must not direct it at another,” advises Nicky. You should never use rage release practices as a form of self-harm either. “And you must ensure that you and your surroundings are safe,” Nicky adds. “This should be an act of love not hate.”

The three steps to healing

Step 1. Stamping
There’s a reason why children stamp their feet when they have a tantrum. “Stamping brings the stuck, strong energy down to the earth and moves stagnation in the body, causing a grounding in the body,” explains Nicky. Take yourself out to a field, park or your garden and stamp your feet down on the ground as you walk, like a child does when they’re angry. Then move onto step 2.

Step 2. Shaking
Shake your body with full freedom – your arms, hips, legs and head. “Shake as long as you need to, keeping your neck loose,” advises Nicky. “This is about letting go. You can do this to music, drumming or silence – whatever works for you.”

Step 3. Roaring
This next step can be done out in an open space or at home. “Let out great big roars like a lion,” says Nicky. “Imagine yourself to be a wild animal and do not hold back. You may feel the need to say certain things or visualise someone you’re raging at. Allow yourself to say what you really need and feel without holding back. You may eventually find big tears coming, too – as long as you are finished with the anger, let yourself cry as long as you need.”

If you have no privacy at home, you can do this directly into pillows so it doesn’t frighten those around you. “With your hands in gentle fists, slam them down onto the pillows and keep going, to release with more force and energy each time.”

Next steps: “Use a journal to process anything you saw, felt and learnt from this process,” says Nicky. “And repeat the steps daily if you need to.”

Ready to break free of your past?

Find out more about Nicky’s BodyMind Maturation Method.

Nicky runs several programmes aimed at helping you to put the past behind you and shape the future you were born to embody.

You can contact Nicky via email and social media, or book a discovery call.