Virgin Active GYM

When I first heard of Zuu – the high-intensity training based on animal movements, with exercises such as ‘bear crawls’ and ‘duck walks’ – I figured the person who came up with it had to be stoned at the time.

Having just tried my first class, I know that can’t be true, as drugs and Zuu really don’t mix. Same goes for booze, fags and burgers, actually, as this was one tough workout.

INNER ANIMAL

OK, it was only 20 minutes, but for some in the animal world that’s half a lifetime and now I know why rhinos have those fabulous obliques and donkeys have those to-die-for glutes.

The Tuesday 9am class would happen on mats in the middle of the busy gym.

It was never going to be rammed, but I hadn’t expected it would be just me and a beautiful, 25-year-old Polish teacher, Joanna.

There is a special misery for a regrettably overweight 45-year-old having a one-on-one Zuu class with a young fitness instructor who seems rather amused that you can’t get the hang of frog jumps and rabbit hops.

She warmed eventually; though not as quickly as me – I went from zero to soaked-in-sweat in 2.5 minutes. It’s fair to say that Zuu was designed for people who want to work their whole body in a way they might not otherwise.

And I’ve never needed any persuading about how much we can learn from the animal kingdom – I cried at Gorillas In The Mist. And Babe: Pig In The City.

KEEP IT NATURAL

After the class, Joanna asked if I would use the rest of the gym. Unable to put into words the fact that my body just wanted to lie under a tree, I nodded and headed to a treadmill, where I jogged until the moment she was out of sight; only then did I collapse. Like a sloth.

What would you like Jamie to try next? Tweet us @BalanceLDN

HAVE A GO

LEVEL
Suitable for all abilities

COST
Members free, £15 for day pass

TIME
20 sweaty minutes